Evolution Of The Blogger Husband To Insta Hubby

“An update by the not so Insta-grammable Insta Husband”

While wading through the endless ocean of reels, images and stories, I realised something.
The tales of woe recanted by the ever-growing population of Insta Husbands however
amusing, paints a somewhat negative and dreary picture of the world of the Insta Husband.
These dramatized tales are acted out reel by reel, often accompanied by whatever catchy remix of
a once-good song mutated by a Gen Z “DJ” are wildly unfair.

I thought, why not set the record straight?! The life of the Insta Husband is not that bad and
perhaps a little more gratitude is in order. The following may well be the rantings of a man
driven mad one reel at a time or maybe not…. You can be the judge.

While toiling under the yolk of the Insta Wife might not be everyone’s cup of tea, the pros
outweigh the cons if you’re brutally honest. Looking back, I for one have even picked up a
few skills and interests along the way. In my case, the lifestyle side of the Instagram world
has been very kind. The Insta Wife has turned this once ham-fisted husband into a reasonably
respectable photographer and connoisseur of food, drink and good times. Again, this is just my
opinion, so please let’s not throw shade…. See what I did there… I am even down with the
lingo!

OH FOR FOOD SAKE

Who in this world doesn’t like food? If you don’t, please seek help urgently, a CT scan may
be in order.
Anything from smashing a greasy basket at the local, to delicately sampling amuse-bouche at
the nicest establishments our country has to offer. All of these experiences carry with them
their own unique fingerprints, greasy or not.

So what if you have to wait a while, it’s only a few photos and adjustments! Not the end of the
world. All good things come to those who wait as they say. I have spent countless occasions
mouth agape, standing gormlessly with the appearance of a lobotomised mental patient just
waiting to devour the delicious offerings in front of me. When asked, “Was it worth the
wait?” a resounding YES blurted out over a mouth full of food is generally the answer
virtually every time.

As I said earlier, I have picked up some skills along the way. One cannot always eat out and
the necessity to cook one’s own meals is a regular occurrence. However, the Insta Wife will
not accept fish fingers and creamed corn from a can.
As such my culinary skills have improved dramatically and my fondness for all things food
has exploded. I am not Gordon Ramsay and reasonably certain there are no Michelin stars in
my foreseeable future. I will however say this – the monster that is the ‘gram has called me to a new
passion and for that I am grateful. After a couple of adjustments on the phone my “masterpieces” are laid bare for all the world to see and the Insta Wife’s endless quest for
content is appeased.

ANOTHER!!!!

Conveniently, all these foods often are accompanied by a superb libation!
The drinks on offer, alcoholic or not are a massive plus. Whether it’s a mixologist, sommelier
or the young bloke behind the bar making his way through varsity. The things Insta Husband
gets to experience in this department are phenomenal. Again, your salvation as an Insta
Husband is only a boomerang or posted story away. With a little patience and the wave of a
gimbal, sit back and enjoy!

ONWARD JAMES!!

The Insta Husband gets to tag along to some great locations far and wide. Let’s be honest,
it’s awesome! Yes, there is the fact that the entire journey is documented, edited and neatly
packaged with an alarming amount of hashtags, but all in all, it’s not that horrendous. Having said
that the single most trying thing for the Insta Husband whilst on location is this…… wait,
wait, wait. I think I should paint a word picture to emphasise the level of trauma endured at
the hands of the Insta Wife.

Imagine this – several bags laden with outfits and makeup, not to mention the separate bags for
all the gear needed for filming. The amount of cargo that probably would rival that of
Singapore harbour on a busy day. The Insta Husband laden with cargo, slowly trudging
behind the Insta Wife, all the while smiling with the audience on how effortless the journey
was to get to the destination. Like a weary sherpa on the slopes of Everest, the Insta Husband
takes the arduous journey to the accommodation, once at the destination however the torment
is not over….

The booming voice of the Insta Wife pierces the air – “Do not touch anything!”
Standing at the entrance the weary Insta Husband, sodden with perspiration, waits ever
patiently for what seems like an eternity. The oasis that is the air-conditioned pristine room is
so close and yet so far…. Once the audience has had their fill the Insta Husband may enter.
Other than that inconvenience, the whole experience can then be enjoyed quite comfortably.

All said and done, who wouldn’t carry a couple of heavy bags and display a degree of
patience to experience something great with your often much more photogenic other half?

Despite all the time spent waiting and a lot of time alone while the Insta Wife works, you can
generally find yourself in a superb location with good food and better drinks while whittling down
the hours. There are worse things in life, and from my perspective being a permanent plus one
has more perks than pitfalls.

#instahusband